The Hedge-hog’s Diary: Caught Offside

Hedge-hogs in a pile by half empty soda can
Hedge-hogs in a pile by half empty soda can

During the winter of the old times, back when the trees could actually not speak, there was a certain drunk who sat on his back hoping to be caught offside. What does ‘caught off-side’ mean? Well as my great, dead, alive recently declared sane uncle told me, the meaning is really not that important, in fact it does not make any sense, and that is why I must stop writing before I lose my sanity.

INTERMISSION : The Hedge-Hog gets caught offside.


 As he ran away from the tortoise, he knew he was in great danger. Having discovered that the big tortoise used steroids, he immediately decided to confront the tortoise.

“Ah ha, alas you have been caught offside Mr. Tortoise.” The blind hedge-hog shouted.

“Not really, correct me if I’m wrong because there is a big chance that I’m might be wrong, but I think…I truly think….You’re the one caught offside,” replied the steroid filled Tortoise. And then after the steroid filled Tortoise pursued the Hedge-hog.

The Hedge-Hog never understood life with his little to no brain. He only understood the journey of moving from houses to houses. The screams and the occasionally large stones he received from the humans.

“Oh humans, such angry filled beasts; they are always so resilient in their quest to exterminate us all.

Well life was good, as long as he could escape the seemingly angry steroid filled tortoise.


Catch up with the Hedge-hog series by clicking here, sorry here, jokes people click here 

Featured Art  by half-empty-soda-can

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